[life] UNDER THE KNIFE

So today was the first time I've ever had a real operation!

I've been suffering from a inguinal hernia for some time and finally had time to get it taken care of. Oddly enough, mine didn't result in any pain and little to no real discomfort. However, after having it checked, the doctor and I decided it would be best to treat it before it became a real issue. Basically the procedure involves cutting me open, placing a synthetic patch over my abdominal wall and then closing me up. Nothing major at all.

The entire hospital visit itself was brief. After I finally put on my hospital gown (complete with awesome socks) I couldn't help but replay the scene in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Frank has a hospital gown on and is spinning around saying, "It really let's your ass breathe." Right after the nurse locked up all my stuff and put a security tie on the locker, I realized I still had my underwear on. I felt bad that she had the cut the tie and use another but I said to her, "Sorry, I just noticed that I was a lot warmer than I should be." After I removed them I said, "Yup, now I can feel the difference in temperature!"

I was the first operation of the day so most of the nurses were either walking around waiting for the doctor to get there. Every so often one would come in and chat with me. Two of them were FIlipino so we talked about the Manny Pacquiao fight. I told one of them an incident that happened a few days ago where a drunken British guy came up to me at a bar and asked me if I was Filipino. I replied "yes" enthusiastically and started shouting about Manny Pacquiao. He said I looked like him and as far as I can remember, we shouted some more and shared a man hug. As I told the nurse the story she was in the process of leaving my room but then walked back in to see if I did look like Pacquiao. She exclaimed, "oh you don't look like him!" and left the room.

Once I was all prepped and ready to go they started wheeling me into the operating room. It reminded me of all those scenes in movies where someone is being rushed down a hall way in critical condition. Nurses surround the patient and they are asking all sorts of medical questions about the patients condition. People are throwing themselves against walls to make room and there's generally some exciting music playing. I also imagined the scene from the victim's perspective. He or she is looking around dazed at faces yelling at each other and asking the person questions.

"What's your name?"
"What happened to you?"
"Do you have insurance?!"

It was a lot calmer and ginger than that.

Once I was finally in the OR they placed me under those giant saucers with tons of lamps on them that reminded me of the Adobe Light Field Camera that I previously blogged about. They asked me if I was feeling drowsy and honestly I was wide awake. The anesthesiologist told me minutes earlier that she was putting something in my IV to prep me for the anesthesia. I remember being in the OR for about 20 seconds and then I woke up back in my room. I think she tricked me and had me on the anesthesia way before I even made it in the OR! That trickster. I was upset that they didn't put a thing over my mouth so I could say something clever like "Oh let's light this mother... Ooh. I'm getting sleeeeeeeeepy."

As I woke up I laid in bed, had some water and was on my way in about less than an hour. The operation of course required that they shave half of my crotch and the incision is being held together with medical staples. When I get to remove the dressing tomorrow, I can only imagine that my crotch will look something similar to Two Face from The Dark Knight. Thankfully due to medical advances I won't be out of commission for two long, although I have no idea when I can finally move around well. I'm currently doing "the old man shuffle" everywhere I walk. I feel like I may have misunderestimated how long I was going to be out. Makes me wish I brought my Xbox 360 to my mother's house so I can beat Fallout 3.

In a coincidental twist, I should be all healed by the time New Years hits so I can lump in my surgery and newly fixed body into whatever ill conceived New Year's Resolution I make. Speaking of which, resolutions are a subject I am going to touch on in a future post. For now, I am going to old man shuffle into the kitchen, get some soda and finally beat Phoenix Wright on my DS.

Things I'll be happy to leave in NJ: #1 NJ Drivers

Being half Asian, I may not be one to talk about how people drive. However, if I have to complain about how people drive on the daily, clearly there are worse drivers out there other than myself.

Whether it's the brood of morons packed into a mini van or even weirder, a larger family in a 2 door car that seem to drive more carelessly proportionate to the amount of family members that are in the car or maybe the white kids, not the Asian kids that drive in poorly "riced out" cars and park outside Burger Kings or other places with large parking lots or maybe the young girls on cellphones driving huge ass SUVs that men three times their size probably don't drive or maybe it's the skinny punk kids with his dad's 20 year old BMW that drive like they own the road simply because "it's a BMW" or the tons of morons who do simply illegal things while driving that really fucking irk me.

I don't know why but things like blocking intersections, not signaling when you're making a right turn in the suburbs, not signaling when you decide to cut me off on the highway, parking in handicap spaces when you're not handicapped, double parking in the middle of a one way street, parking outside the lines or taking up two spaces, driving slow in the left lane or just driving below speed limit anywhere is something I cannot wait to never have to deal with.

I feel like a massive weight and nuisance will be lifted off my shoulders living in a major city. Even though most of the world considers driving a privilege, most of us know that financially, emotionally and environmentally, it's a pain in the ass, especially for New Jersey drivers. Car insurance alone is such a kick in the wallet that I can't imagine how fun it will be to save that much extra money a month. My car insurance alone will equal 1/3 of my rent in Brooklyn. And without having to pay ridiculous gas prices, that's roughly 2/3 of my rent right there saved. Of course the health benefits of walking and biking everywhere will be great too. It'll definitely help hold back the eventual beer belly I'll further gain by using that extra money a month on stocking my fridge with tons and tons of booze.

[credit cards] TRUUUUUUE STOOOORY!

Shout Out Out Out Out - Forever Indebted

You know they got me,
More than I got out
And every month I think I've finally hit the bottom
But they keep growing
And fucking growing
And every month I get in deeper
With my knowing.
Well, God damn!
How did this happen?
It's not like I spend all my time spending, spending.
Well, God damn!
If I could get out,
Somehow I know I'd just go right back in.

All my friends
They're in the same boat
They just can't get out
But they keep working every day as if there's hope
And that's it
That's how we're living
And to boot, we're still made to feel guilty
Well, God damn!
How did this happen?
It's not like we spend all our time spending, spending.
Well, God damn!
If we could get out,
Somehow I know we'd just go right back in.

They say we have to learn to compromise
Stay inside our means and we'll all be fine but
We're surrounded by their credit lines
And their payment plans with interest piled up high and
Why do you think they fucking advertise?
It's cause we'll make them rich
While they ruin our lives and
Like Jaycie Jayce in a conga line
I'm in an awkward place and I'm out of time.
And they only say you have to compromise
Once in you're in too deep
And they own your life and
It's no wonder that we're all stressed out
When paying bills is always on our mind and
They say we have to learn to compromise
Stay inside our means and we'll all be fine but
We're surrounded by their credit lines
And their payment plans with interest piled up high and
Why do you think they fucking advertise?
It's cause we'll make them rich
While they ruin our lives and
Like Jaycie Jayce in a conga line
I'm in an awkward place and I'm out of time.


Damn.

I thought I'd never be the guy in debt. NEVER. Never liked credit cards and now I am a victim to my own urges to charge. The sad thing is, my mom detailed how much I have as my own pocket money and gas and it's ALMOST $1k a month. Just for me. And I still manage to somehow over spend. And I have no clue how it always happens. Actually, before my vacation, I was fine. Then I went a little charge happy for the past 3 months. I usually had a few hundred saved up a month and I would blow it all once I get my monthly bonus.

In a way, it's like the kettle calling the pot black (is that the right expression?) My mother used to be the queen of overspending but now she's finally learned her own ways. I've only been making some real money for about a year and I guess in a way, tapping into my hereditary spending habits is not a good sign. But, I know she's giving me the hour long lectures about saving because she doesn't want me to be like her when I grow up. But like the song states, you just can't help and you can't get out.

So, one of two things need to happen: I either need to stop spending (which, after I get my hard drive for my laptop and maybe a guitar/camera for my b-day next month, that's about it) or make even MORE money so I can still be reckless and retarded. But, I tell you what, I am going to try and do both! More money, less spending!


Let's go!

(Oh, asides from the debt we are paying off, I am actually even with paying everything off. So provided I just spend money like a normal person, I will be fine well before the year is over and that god forsaken American Express card will have a big fat zero for a balance!)